I’ve always been interested in what attracts people to one another. When I’ve asked men what made them choose their partner and how they knew she was the One, the answer I hear over and over again Is “she was normal”. I know, not quite the romantic accolades I was expecting, but fascinating nevertheless.
Digging a little deeper I found that when women react strongly to things and go on the attack over a missed phone call, a night with the boys, forgetting their six week anniversary, men start to question the feelings they have for them. And it can stop a budding love story in its tracks. It sounds shallow but you’ll find that men are incredibly sensitive to this sort of thing. Why? Because you’re the person they were hoping they could relax with. And spending their life tiptoeing around their significant other isn’t their idea of fun.
So if you tend to be a bit “jumpy” or you have been hurt in the past you need to ensure your brain is wired for a more peaceful vibe, with your fight/flight response turned down if you want to enjoy the relationship of your dreams. Love shines best in a peaceful heart. This isn’t about excusing bad behaviour. This is about giving your future person-and yourself-a break.
Tapping can help with this. It sends a calming signal to the brain. When you unfire and unwire your “relationships are risky” pathways, and wire in “love is safe and a very good idea” you minimise the sort of reaction that has prospective loves running for cover. It allows for positive neural change and it makes you a lot happier and less reactive. And the best place to start is at the beginning, accepting yourself even while you’re still feeling a little jumpy or unsure. Watch “Unsingle’s Tapping Into Love” video to get started. You have nothing to lose but those tricky, sticky blocks to love.
LOUISE GABRIEL is the author of Unsingle: The art and science of finding true love. Available in paperback and ebook from 1 December 2014.